I know it's irrational to still be upset/disappointed about this... but it's still bothering me. Translation, ticking me off. Nothing really to do about it, I've tried. Just feeling inadequate in every sense compared to... never mind.
Also, the wedding's been on the back of my mind a lot... I keep getting asked questions like when/where/who that I can't answer. I thought there might be a date but I just don't know anymore to be honest. Suddenly doubting that I'll get an actual ceremony of any kind other than paperwork which irks me greatly but can't really say anything there either. I could, I know I could, because I do want something small just to make the day... different. I dunno... I want a dress and to get pretty for him, I want wedding pictures that I can look at later. I don't care if it's just digital/disposable camera pics, so long as they exist. I don't care if the dress is "Vera Wang" or whatever, they suck anyways and cost so much for no reason at all. But yeah, I want a day to spend with a few family and friends, not to prove anything, just to be with them and share it. I want to see that smile most woman get to see when walking down the aisle, street, grass area, whatever you want to call it. It's like... hmm... a man's first car to a woman I guess? I dunno, it's our milestone. We both get prom, they get a first car and we get to be a bride. You only get married once (hopefully) so, why not? Bah.
I got woken up by Jack again (cat) and got woken up cranky. VERY cranky. Oh well, can't really talk about these things without sounding like a you-know-what I guess. So, for now IF I feel I can, I'll drop it.
Anyways, note to self; Try to finish laundry tonight, clean up the kitchen while making supper... wait a sec I get off work at 9:15, alright make that one tomorrow... find my thread to try sewing a patch on a tunic tonight then, that makes better sense. I should also try to get the bathroom cleaned and the bedroom while I'm at it.
Meh. Gonna sulk. Why? Because I can.
Back to bed soon I go...
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You tell David that you need a ceremony, even if it is small. And that if you don't get it, your wifey is going to put the DEAD in Deadfire!
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