Well, it's not ALL a bitchcake rant, I guess. Now... let's continue shall we? Or at least I will since I've probably weird-ed anyone bothering with this out.
So... this morning after I woke up I decided to make my fiancé and I breakfast. As in maple bacon, maple sausages, chocolate chip waffles with maple syrup, egg and tea. Considering the facts that I was only half awake and how much I put together it took me a considerable amount of time to do. Plus I had to head to work afterward. I thought it'd be a nice gesture you know? That I took the time in doing something special like that for just the two of us as tired as I was.
Then I ask him to plan a date, didn't have to be expensive... cost any money... didn't have to go far...just put a little thought into something nice and well... that just won't be done. I give up.
*Breathes*
Am I just, I dunno, not worth the effort/trouble? That's the signal I'm getting here... I mean really. When a woman dresses up for you -just because-, do you have to ask "why"? When a woman cooks you something special, do you inhale it and then wander away? When your woman asks you to sit with her and watch a show or movie... do you complain about nothing being on, or sit there for 10 minutes/playing with your phone only to leave to do other things? Does your girlfriend, fiancée, wife... whatever have to spend time with you by sitting in your computer room staring at the back of your head only to get complaints of "why are you sitting there?"
Yeah yeah, games are awesome and such... but... Hello? I'm here too? :(
Getting up, going to the computer or work, coming home to the computer, coming out to ask about "what's for supper" then venturing out again to go to bed? Yeah, touch of information here... that's not exactly constituting a relationship.
Helpful hints to those men who can't figure this out on their own. There are a LOT of you out there so don't open yer yaps with that "I'm just seeing things" or "I'm just a hormonal woman" bullshit...
1. Rent a flippin movie, dig out some popcorn... a blanket... and watch it with her. THE WHOLE THING. Don't get up and walk away, don't go check your email, don't go talk to your buddies online, leave the fucking phone in another room on silent. Hell, surprise her with the evening in. Rent a movie you know she wants to see... set everything up yourself. It's not that hard.
2. Take her to her favorite restaurant... Doesn't have to be "The Keg" or anything although that would earn any man bonus points... if she likes pizza, take her for pizza. She like Italian? Find a cheap but good place. Hey, you use the internet all day boys... you figure it out. It's called Google.
3. Pack a picnic for you two. You don't need rocket science to make sandwiches and pack some drinks or snacks and a blanket to sit outside somewhere. You probably have everything at home already waiting to throw this one together. Or tie it in with...
4. A day at the beach. Or a place you can go swimming. And don't go complaining about the whole deal if you're not an outdoors person... remember you're going out of your way to impress and do something for HER.
5. Take a bath together. You set it up. If I have to explain this one so help me I'll shoot myself in the foot. No wait, not my foot, YOURS for being a dumbass.
6. DO try to remember your first date... what it was, where, what you did. Recreate that. Even if it's not entirely the same. Did you stargaze? Take a blanket and go lay outside somewhere together. Did you take a walk along water? There's bound to be a lake or river... or a dripping pipe somewhere.
7. Cook for her for once. You may not be Chef Fantastic or even like doing it at all... but give it a try. Really, what can it hurt other than a little pride if you have to ask for help, a few cuts, maybe some bruises and burnt food... but at least you made the effort. Candle light... or kitchen fire... dinner anyone?
8. Back massage. 'Nuff said.
9. Flowers. Every woman loves and secretly wants flowers. You may not understand it or want to spend the money on something like that... if you're that man... buy her 11 real roses and one silk one. Tell her something cheesy like "I'll love you until the last one dies".
10. If you REALLY can't do this yourself guys... I'm sorry, you're beyond help. If you don't want to captivate your girl's affections time and again, if you think that having her hand to hold every day is reason enough to quit trying to impress her, if you're taking that for granted that she'll stick around without that? Well... I'm facepalming. Here... to keep your head above water there's a list on this site of cute/romance/SMART things to do once in a while to make her feel loved and special. After all, you may not notice it but she does little things for you if you'd take the time to notice or appreciate them. You don't have to understand. As they say,
"Don't try to understand me. Just love me."
I hate the way you talk to me.
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots.
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick-- it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh -- even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around.
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - - not even close, not even a little bit...
Not even at all...
I hate the way you talk to me.
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots.
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick-- it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh -- even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around.
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - - not even close, not even a little bit...
Not even at all...
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