This is what I work with.

To most people, my job may be a simple one, I make the food go beep beep. Not so bad right? Well it's not really.

But then again, there are days like today where I just don't give a crap, and since it's my day off I feel like ranting.

Warning, the following post is entirely my personal thoughts. They may make you feel uncomfortable or think me a very rude person, but keep in mind this is what I deal with on a daily basis while at my job. If you feel you wish to stop reading, then do so. I haven't glued your eyes open and duct taped you to the chair now have I?

This, my readers, is what it's like to work as a cashier. Not just for the store I work at mind you, I'd say this would work for most any retail job out there if a few changes were made to the list. Such joy and tranquility... every... single... day. This is what you should NOT be doing but y'all do it anyways! GRR!

1) People who come through express with too many items. I understand if you have 16 or 17 items but people try and come through with overflowing carts and get mad when I tell them they have to go to a different checkstand. Also... there's a HUGE sign saying "15 Items" there... sooooooooo...

2) When they refuse to sign up for a club card (which takes a whole 60 seconds) then complain loudly about how they didn't get the 30 cents off their bag of chips.

3) I will be walking through the store with my jacket on, carrying my purse and a basket full of items and people will still come up to me and ask me where the canned peas are. Do I look like I'm working? NO!

4) If it's cheaper somewhere else, go buy it there. Do not complain to me about the price. I can't change it and I don't really care.

5) People who ask you to double bag everything. And I don't mean the cans, I mean the bag of bread needs to be double bagged. No. Just no.

6) The price will not go down until you give me your club card. You shop here several times a week. I've seen you. Why do you not know this yet!?

7) People who change their mind about items and instead of giving them to you or putting them back themselves, they decide to leave the meat in the bakery, the pasta in the milk cooler, and the ice cream in the magazine racks at the checkout.

8) People who will watch you and wait until you are putting their 10kg bag of flour into their cart and then will suddenly say their phone number so fast I can't hear it, never mind type it in. Then they get annoyed when I ask them to repeat their phone number.

9) They get annoyed that you didn't put in the airmiles or $1 coupon that was in the flyer or newspaper. The reason you didn't put in the coupon was because they didn't give it to you or ask you to put it in. I am not psychic. Or they get mad at you for them not having checked the LARGE PRINT expire date on a coupon.

10) The little old ladies who will respond to "How are you doing today Ma'am?" with a lengthy and vivid description of their various medical problems. I do not want to know about your bowels. Please stop.

11) People who put their purses down on the belt. The belt keeps moving until the purse breaks the laser. Then they pull the purse back. Then the belt starts moving. Then the purse breaks the laser. Then they pull their purse back... Repeat.

12) People who put their kids on the belt. There is one guy who always lifts his little girl onto the belt and lets her stand up there. I have to stop the belt and explain to him that she can't be up there because when the belt moves, she will fall and get hurt.

13) People who do not use the bars to separate their grocery orders from other people's. Then they get angry when you start scanning the next order into their, because I should have used my psychic abilities to note when the order ended and a new one started. Worse is when people don't say anything until after they've paid so you have to give them a refund then ring the groceries in for the person they actually belonged to, who also didn't say anything.

14) People who put down two dividers. The person before you already put down a divider. You don't need to do it again. Or people who put down a divider before loading their groceries even though there is no one in front of them and therefore no need for a divider. I have to pick it up later since no one was behind em!

15) People who wait until you finish ringing in the order in front of theirs before unloading their groceries. It just makes things move so much slower.

16) People who start unloading their groceries before the person in front of them has finished. Are you blind or just stupid? Wait your turn.

17) "ID? Why do you need my ID?" Hmm, maybe because you look 25 or under and I have to ID you or I get fired. Cough up the ID or no smokes for you.

18) Hang up your cellphone. If they call you, say you'll call them back in 5 minutes. And never, ever call someone while you're in line. Ever.

19) When they put their bags of bread, eggs, and bananas on the bottom of their cart. You must know you have cans, pop, and sugar coming. After all, you picked it out and you put it on the belt. Enjoy your flat bread, broken eggs, and bruised bananas.

20) When people get angry at you for using too many plastic bags. You're killing the environment by putting my dripping beef in a different bag than my apples. How dare you? And don't you dare put that chicken in a small plastic bag before putting in the larger bag either! Food poisoning or salmonella is a small price to pay if I can stop one bag from being used!

21) People who attempt to shove their club card/air miles pretty much right up your nose before you're even finished with the customer before them or before you've even rung anything in. When I want them... I'll ASK for them... dumb ass.

22) My name isn't "hey you!". I do wear a name tag, please use it. Or if you can't see it, just walk up to me rather than yelling that classic "that must be every employee here's name!" because it gets old. I may have a number attached to me, but I like to feel like I matter if you use my name.

23) Best one yet. Those silly little games my store brings out with those scratch cards or break open tickets. Stop leaving the damn things all over my checkstand or throwing them into the next open bag in my rack. Knock it the fuck off. That's why I placed the paper bag there. Use it! You know what else? Do NOT debate me on the rules for bonus game cards. I know what the damn signs in front of the promo grocery items say. It says "buy three get a bonus game card" and "one of many promo items" NOT buy this one thing and you get the card. I have the signs read, I have the damn rules drilled into me AND the rule sheet right beside my checkstand. Last woman to argue and yell at me over the issue got the socalled bonus card thrown in her face and ignored. That being the only time I've ever lapsed in my job.

My day may seem simple, but you know that everyone has their off days. It can also be stressful and hard to get through, but I do it anyways because I have a mix of both wanting to, and having to. It can be a long, boring and depressing job, but I get by. As much as I may complain about my job on a constant basis, it's not all that horrible. I get to spend those hours standing with (mostly) good people to work with as well as getting to use my mind constantly to remember all the different codes to be used. It's also helped me more with having to deal with people in general in all their moods, from happy to see me to throwing a basket of food at me. I get to talk to children on their own level and give them stickers, or have an adult conversation with the parent. I get to help the elderly and hopefully make them feel like someone's listening rather than treating them like they're stupid and senile. It may be a long job, but making the food beep is the easy part. The hard part is helping every person in my line like part of the community.

Anywho, that's about it for now I think... any more nonsense and I'm sure your poor brains may implode or something and I don't wish to be responsible for that. At least not today. Maybe another evening when I feel more up to the challenge of melting a few minds.