Frustration has it's limits and it's about to hit the fan.

Well I have good news and bad news kids. Which would you like first?

Good news is... we went to pick out our wedding rings the other week. They don't match which I will admit DOES irk me because as silly as it is, it would be nice. Traditional and such. But oh well. He's getting a tungsten band and I've got white gold. At least the ring fits comfortably with my engagement ring. I'd rather not have something cutting into my other fingers for the rest of my life. I mean... who in the bloody blue blazes thought of square edged bands?!

Another bit of good news is that the dress I wanted, probably mentioned it before, is on it's way. As the woman in the dress shop told me it should arrive in May/June give or take. Another plus is instead of the size 12 I thought I'd have to get due to a touch of top-heaviness wasn't the case... in this style I can get a size 10 which better fits my waist thanks to it having a corset backing. Just hoping there's minimal alterations to be done considering my height...

Also, the wedding license can be bought three months in advance to the wedding date, so long as it's used by then or you have to pay the $120.00 for another one. But that can be dealt with closer to the date... whatever date that may be.

On the topic of wedding dates... therein lies one of the issues. I don't know WHEN MY OWN FLIPPING WEDDING IS GOING TO BE.

Yep... Figured it'd be nice to have it July 13th which is the day we met... but that won't do because of his job. Then thought maybe July 21st would be better because I guess you could call that our first date even though we weren't dating... or were we... neither of us knows the answer to that. But now I doubt that'll work because there's someone else's wedding a few days later and they won't be in town AND probably because of his job. And he doesn't seem to want to sit and discuss the dates either because it's "my choice" and he just has to show up. Hello... you're gettin' married too or have you forgotten?

More on the sucky news side would be... what money? Yeah... I've been trying to save what I can here and there of which by the way, isn't much. I need help. I don't think a couple hundred dollars is going to get us very far. Dress I can take care of since my Mom's working on it too. Now there's rings, license, maybe photos if we decide not to just hand someone a digital camera and if we have a reception of some sorts in Winnipeg. I've asked time and again... "please put 10 or 20 aside towards us"... but... new laptop.

I'm just getting frustrated that this "wedding" will even happen at all. No rings, no license, dress isn't here yet, no funds and best of all... NO DATE.

Every woman usually gets to plan her special wedding, or at least choose the way it plays out whether they have a full church ceremony, or rent a hall, run off to Vegas or what have you. Not that I want to go to Vegas for my wedding.
They usually have a fiancé who doesn't say "it doesn't matter" and will WANT to help plan THEIR day... or have something saved up to get some form of decent wedding.

I'm getting a mess.
I'm not the "excited blushing bride" that everyone keeps telling me I should be.
I don't feel like a bride.

I've stopped looking through any of the wedding magazines I was given and put them aside. I've stopped looking for simple ideas on websites. I'm no longer looking at flowers because my Mom wants me to have a bouquet like most brides... I'm wondering if I can afford the second payment for my dress... I've put the shoes I got for it into the closet because I just don't want to see em... my necklace is now in the drawer in it's box because I don't want to look at it... not sure we'll get our rings on time...

I'm not really saying anything but... seriously. I just wanna cry.