"No pressure" .... Yeah... right.

Tell me another one.

Well I'm finally feeling more or less human again despite random dizzy spells and solid food still not sitting well with me. Go liquid diet go. Not. But I honestly think I'm near my cracking point and I don't know what to do. I have an entire apartment to figure out more or less on my own because my Mom isn't in the shape to clean really, so a family friend has come over to help me haul out a mattress to the dumpster. I'll be leaving ALL furniture here... I'll be getting rid of more than planned because there's an issue in regards to my apartment block apparently in regards to insects so that means anything paper probably has to go. In other words, my beloved books. I'm going to try saving them but who knows. So probably going to be leaving with just my clothing at this point. But anything packed now needs to be unpacked because it's in cardboard boxes... paper. I don't want this traveling with me to the house. I also got the notice about the caretaker coming within days to inspect/treat the place so I have to move everything away from the walls and clean up even more/better and empty the cabinets... thing is I don't have my strength back yet by ANY means so this should be fun. Let's see what else can I complain about while I have an ear, or blog rather, to listen to my BS. Riiiight the dates. I was supposed to fly on the 17th/18th give or take but that's going to certainly be pushed back, cuz you know I didn't plan on being sick as a dog for the last two weeks and not getting ANY income because of it, now said family friend who helps us a bit financially when he can will not be working for 6 weeks til a doc's appointment... I'm honestly scared. I really don't know what we're going to do without hardly any funds from now til then. Yes I'm going back to work on Monday and lucky that I've not been able to eat in that one way but... Sigh. It's a bit late for that. I do have money saved up yes, over 520 now, but that's put aside for my move and whatever else it may be so I'm not going to touch it. Also the matter of during that six weeks is when my Mom will be here alone without the extra help both from me being here plus financially. As I said, I'm scared. Not to mention what time I have to get everything done in and figure it out is getting shorter fast, people keep trying to cut it even shorter faster with pressure. I know the price of the plane ticket increases as time goes on but right at this moment that's not my main concern. I'll pay the damn fucking thing. It's everything I have to do in between. I'm not sure if I'm going to start crying soon or get very angry, mostly with myself. We'll find out soon enough... I've resolved not to do either until I have the time to sit down and do it but hey, anything can happen. Trust me, anything wrong that can go wrong, has thus far. And I will repeat.

I'm scared.


~List of things to get done, that I know of right now. More will certainly come. (More for personal reference):

-Get rid of all paper boxes in apartment.
-Clean all rooms, including wiping down the walls and ceiling somehow. Note to self: get stepstool.
-Check if plastic bins can be shipped via greyhound shipping as to not use cardboard due to building problem.
-Move all large/heavy furniture 2 feet away from walls for said problem.
-Get RID of furniture, such as my bed and dressers, nightstand as well as other furniture in the apartment.
-Clear out the cabinets of any dishes/food stuffs as per the listed instructions for said problem.
-Sort once more through my stuff to rid of any paper and anything where if in case, the problem cannot travel with me.
-Possibly ask for the max week hours at work and get this done around that, plus maybe overtime to get some stability before I go.
-Work it out with employment that I'll be staying a bit longer and answer their questions and deny staying longer than I need to since they're asking.
-Solidify a date for the plane ticket to make people stfu and get off my back.
-Get doctors note in with work asap for the time I was ill. Also resignation letter.
-Double check with apartment owners if they've found a place for my parent. Luckily she can remain here til the time does come.
-Help her pack and sort her things as well.
-Do that eating thing without puking it up again.
-Tea with future mother-in-law.

I know it was a long post if anyone actually had the brass to read through the nonsense. And yes, I seem to do a lot of complaining about things as of late but to do it here all at once saves me the breath and someone's patience. Writing it out like this also allows me to sit down for a few moments and relax (sorta) before I continue ripping my hair out. :P Speaking of which we're about to haul that mattress outside, wish me luck!